In my previous post The Back Story Part 2, I mentioned that recently it had occurred to me that the kids that were diagnosed with spectrum disorders when my own kiddo was a toddler have also grown up. What I haven't mentioned was how this occurred to me- it seems obvious but sometimes we have to first see the dots before we can connect them. Many times we overlook the dots or the signs pointing us in a direction because we are so busy being busy or chasing the next project, the next goal, the next title etc. In my experience, that hamster wheel we can get stuck on also comes with the most amazing blinders.
A few years ago, I hopped off the hamster wheel for the first time. Feeling lost, burnt out, overwhelmed and just done, I knew I needed to dial back and reassess. While healing & searching for my purpose, my thoughts turned to photography because when I was really little I thought this was something I wanted to do 'when I grew up' (do we ever actually grow up? I'm still waiting hahaha) maybe this was my thing that I was missing. Needing some sort of income while dialing back, I took a job managing a portrait studio in a local department store to test the waters.
While working there I was lucky enough to have to opportunity to capture some special moments for families that had either struggled to have photo sessions complete or had very few photos that captured a smile or their family member's character for various reasons. These were always my favourite sessions, the slowing down, taking the time to get the kids AND parents comfortable enough to get the shot.
To see the relief on a mom's face when I said we didn't have to rush, we have privacy in the studio, take your time and I'll follow your lead was huge for me and also sad.
Sad because we tend to expect the world to operate on the same speed for everyone and those that don't are the ones that either get left out, lost in the shuffle or completely stressed out trying to fit into the cookie cutter world we live in.
Coincidentally this happened to pop up in my Facebook memories
yesterday so I thought I would share it here.
Being who I am, my thoughts turned to everyday activities for these families- I knew what some school days looked like from spending time in my kiddo's school as a helper over the years, I could see what grocery shopping looked like just standing at the counter in the studio watching the struggles and then I remembered what haircuts looked like when I was working in a salon environment. Not always ideal and I can only imagine a stressful event for the families involved before, during and then the aftermath at home with exhausted kids and parents.
I thought to myself
'why isn't there a salon dedicated to helping clients with special needs, to take some of that stress off of the caregivers or parents? A safe space to just be themselves without pressure, stares or judgement. Someone should speak up and do something about this! A strongly worded email is in order...."
...then it hit me
"Wait a minute! I'm a someone that can do that!!" "It's not someone else! It's me. I can do this."
"Wait a minute! I'm a someone that can do that!!"
Buuuuut having the idea is one thing, being in the right frame of mind and financial position to go for it is completely another. The timing wasn't right, I had more learning and growing to do.
Side Tangent Alert!
Some of the things I witnessed during that short time in the department store portrait studio were disheartening. I have seen countless families struggling with anything from tired toddlers (or tired moms, dads and grandparents) that really need a hug and a nap and are letting the entire store know about it to caregivers one on one or with groups of people in their care, doing their best to assist with what may be a weekly outing for necessities or change of scenery to individuals with their own challenges persevering alone one step at a time. In all of these scenarios there were most certainly the helpers lending support or a kind gesture but there were many more that either looked the other way, dodged and avoided intentionally or perhaps completely missed the opportunity to be a helper by simply not holding a door or offering a smile due to their own preoccupation (we are all guilty of this sometimes) but in too many instances there are leers of judgement and often comments muttered or said directly to the family or individuals out loud for all to hear with quite often nothing but shame and a hurtful intent. Leaving those on the receiving end, going home feeling worse than they did before they went out.
As a side note I want to add that our society has missed a few few lessons on being good, polite decent humans and I think we should make a rule that everyone must work in a big box store for a period of time before being turned loose in the adult world.
Please be kind to the retail workers you cross paths with while shopping- it's generally a rude and very trying
environment to be in day in and day out.
Sometimes I feel these uncomfortable moments can happen even with the best of intentions. Making the effort to move furniture or an obstacle in a salon can be one of those times. It's nothing for us to slide a chair out of the way in order to accommodate a wheel chair, I don't think any hairdresser out there would ever argue that point. However if I were on the other side and needed the accommodation, I imagine it would be another instance of the world I live in not being designed for me to participate and while feeling appreciative of the effort and care offered to me, I might be left feeling as though a particular task is too much bother on any given day. I also would like to note that while I have mentioned moving furniture, sometimes its not furniture, sometimes its sensory issues, sometimes it's daily challenges that only the family under one roof fully understand, sometimes it's challenges that we as individuals don't fully understand ourselves or are ready or even want to talk about and sometimes those challenges can leave us feeling like a so called normal task is just too big. I have seen it from the outside looking in, I have been on the caregiver side and heard the comments and caught the judgmental looks and occasionally feel the world isn't built for me either.
I think this is the gap, this is what's needed.
A 'normal' task or service over time has grown into a much larger task much like an event (which is great for those that enjoy that experience!) I want to bring the 'normalcy' of a haircut to those that may have either forgone going to a salon or have opted to go to a discount salon for the swiftness of the 'get in and get out' aspect but perhaps feeling like they are missing out on some of the luxury of going to a higher end salon. I want to offer it with patience for those that need it, while maintaining our client's dignity as we all deserve and in the quiet of the client's safe space.
What's more luxurious than having your personal hairdresser come to you? Celebrities do that, they may be onto something...
Back To Our Back Story
With a strange sense of calm that this is the right path, we're jumping in with both feet. Anyone that knows me well knows I swear by listening to the voice inside and anytime I have ignored the voice, I am consistently met with that same voice later saying 'I told you so'.
The same voice that shouts 'this is the thing you should be doing' is the same voice that said 'wait not now' when I wanted to do it in December is the same voice that said 'Ok now and here's how we're going to do it. Oh and by the way, the universe is giving you lots of time to reconnect with everyone in your house and lots of time to wrap your head around all of the new things you are about to begin- web design, Instagram, FB, LinkedIn, how to post, when and what.'
You see I left my job in early March-literally right before the pandemic strolled in- pretty sure lock-down started the week I was officially off the books for my employer. I was chewing on this for a few months working all the what if's and details out, then a social media ad popped up about the Niagara Region Home and Garden Show at the Scotiabank Centre in Niagara Falls. I thought "This is it! This is the sign!" For whatever reason the voice kept saying 'end of March, end of March' then this ad popped up-for the largest home and garden show in the region taking place-AT THE END OF MARCH! Perfect! I thought, I'll launch at the show, introduce myself to as many people in one weekend as I can and see where that takes us as a starting point.
After a deflating initial email with a quote wayyyy out of my budget for tabling at the show, the wonderful organizer found a solution and we were in! Incredible! This was clearly meant to be!
Fast forward and in a couple of short weeks we launched a website and social platforms, created and ordered all of our printed marketing materials, everything we needed for the show and then lock down happened. The show we were set to launch at is cancelled and here we are. For now continuing to grow our network remotely (any shares of our posts are immensely appreciated!), I have been completing more online courses, seminars and webinars, learning how to maximize all of the tools at our finger tips while we wait patiently for the world to be able to reconnect safely and figure out what safely even looks like.
James (and the lock-down beard) & I, patiently waiting out the lock-down...
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